heya peepz...

      yup...today is the last day of college for me. i've got study leave till the 20th of october. 20th october would be my final AS exams. ARGH!!!*scream..* will be having business studies paper 1 and maths 1. *screams again* MATHS is the first paper. how nice.....*bluntly*

      im under so much stress right now. i just wish i could have my nice comp where i can blog in the privacy of my own room. but noooo.....dad refuses to fix the comp at the moment because exams are coming. he doesn't want me to be online. its good in a way...but now that i'll be on study leave from tmr onwards...i won't be able to check my mail OR blog. baka. who would be so kind as to lend me the use of their comp for an hour or so on alternate days? *blinkblink* haha. *smiles sweetly*

      sigh...life passes you by real fast doesn't it? i still remember the last day of spm, the first day of college and here i am, soon to be sitting for my final exam in a week's time. time is flying wayyyy to fast!!*sobs* but there's nothing i can do about it. i certainly wish i can turn back time. there are some special moments that i'd love to relive again and again. there are some certain things i'd love to do all over again. make it perfect. make that MOMENT perfect. *sighs*

      not only that...my friends from other courses like SAM and CPU, they'll be going their own ways soon. some would get their butts shipped off to aussieland and OTHER countries lol...some would be staying here but still, they would no longer be in the same campus. that's really sad to know. the thought of my friends leaving. i know some of my closest friends are gonna be stuck with me till a-levels are over but still.....*sniffs* i'll miss them terribly.

      tze yi called me yesterday. in case some of you don't remember her, she's that cute squeaky girl that got the asean scholarship. she's doing her a-levels in singapore now. talking to her again makes me remember my lower secondary school days. so many fond memories. i mean, it felt SO good just to hear her voice again. i was actually travelling back into time while talking to her. she reminded me of the days where we'd lepak during duty time...*hehe, good prefects we are*, the times where we'd sing m2m songs in the top of of our lungs with krystle...3 Budi days. haha! it was fun...*smiles blissfully*

      never would i have imagined that i'd be here, in Taylor's College, BLOGGING in comp lab 4, for god's sake.

      i was watching ED the other day. it was about Carol meeting her ex bf from high school named Troy something. apparently, the ex was some successful feller with his own business and a family to boot while Carol is a single and available teacher at the high school. Carol was dreading to meet up with him because of this. She was thinking about how popular she was back then, being a high school cheerleader and straight A's student. And now, she's just a teacher. Anyways, Carol's best friend asked her this question. " Are you happier now or happier when you were in high school?" Carol answered that she was happier now.

      When Carol met Troy, all Troy could talk about was about high school days and all the things he did then. he was reminiscing the old times and he complained about how he missed those days. it was actually a pretty sad moment if u watched the show. But at that point in time, Carol could only think about how sorry she felt for Troy. He was living in the past. he was HAPPIER in the past.

      And then i realised, i don't WANT to be like that. i don't want to be happier in the past than i am now. i don't want to look back at all these happie moments that i have and think about how much i want to live through them time and time again. i want to be happier NOW. the past is just something i'm gonna remember and cherish for the rest of my life. so that's how i've decided to live. i'm not gonna live my life feeling sorry for myself because i USED to be happier.  i'm gonna live my life with no regrets. no looking back.

      no more.