hey guys...

      haven't updated for some time. i know. *smiles sadly* feeling dam kau sad now. sigh. i'll be going for some o-yes award ceremony soon. u know that business plan i entered?yeah well, i didn't win. but i THINK im getting a cert for entering.  =) the first prize winner is *drumroll* RONALD KAM and his partner whom i don't know!! haha...congrats, ron boy! =)

      okay, as for my exams, well, since when exams din suck rite?? but u know...its just so depressing. haha...maths paper 1 was aMAzinGly OKAY. haha, but paper 6 was abit tough for me. to those of u who thought it was EASY, screw the lot of u. bleks.

      business studies was okay too...i think my grade would be abit shaky haha, coz i have a feeling i din write enuf to get an A. does that make sense??:P thinking skills was well, thinking skills. *rolls eyes* i always think its okay but my results doesn't seem to be okay. that's y we call it, thinking KILLS. heheheheh...corny?yea, i know. *grins*

      just sat for my accounts paper yesterday. *starts crying* i think my paper 2 just died. haha...paper 1 was like, pretty easy. but they totally killed me in paper 2. time was INDEED a factor. not to mention, the FREAKINGLY COLD class. ( C17-C19) ugh. i simply do not see why it is compulsory for a classroom to be FREAKIN COLD for it to be conducive for an exam to take place. it's just plain ridiculous. my long-sleeve top was not sufficient to keep me comfortably warm during the exam. *sigh* i know im just making excuses but heck, bear with me.

      to make matters worse, i got into a major fight with my mom. maybe it's da stress that's getting to me or the fact that i simply CAN'T stand the sound of her voice yelling at me. is it possible for a mother to be SO negative towards her first child??? whenever she talks to me, she will just start questioning me about WHY im not studying, WHY my friends are getting straight A's, WHY i am not helping with the house chores, WHY can't i be good at anything, WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!!! *screams in frustration*

      so im not perfect. i try my best. the fact that i just may be STUPID doesn't seem to make any difference. the fact that she doesn't SEE me study does not mean i DON'T. and i SERIOUSLY think that she's EXTREMELY biased. she treats my bloody sister nicely just because she's doing EXTREMELY well in class. i think if my sis doesn't get straight A's for PMR, my mom would just drop dead. and it's OKAY for my sister to hang out late with her friends but it's NOT okay if i do. i think my pals can vouch for the fact that i get grounded when im 5 minutes late for curfew. how do u think THAT makes me feel huh???

      sometimes i wonder how i can smile and laugh and naturally be happie for ppl. sometimes u ppl wonder how i can be happy almost ALL da time. i think i've become a pro in hiding how i truly feel. all those happie smiley faces are just a facade. haha, sometimes i feel that im much more myself in comp lab 4 blogging furiously. sigh, i feel like im rotting inside at the moment.

      only 5 more days till the end of my exams. only 2 more papers to go. only 1 more subject to study. after that, i am technically free. i can't wait for some ME-time. im gonna need it. have to get my priorities and feelings sorted out. *takes a deep breath* i can almost taste the sense of relief that exams are gonna be over. after this award thing, i plan to go home, hibernate in my room and study econs. i plan to ignore my mother until im POSITIVELY sure that i will not say or do anything that will make me regret my actions. u know the saying..."ignorance is bliss" has never been more apt. to all my friends, im sorry if i neglected u guys, i just haven't been really well lately that's all.

      take care ppl.

      

hey peeps...

      i apologise for not updating for so long. exams are here. well, actually they were here since last week. *grins*

      anyways, i will be having sThinking Skills paper 1 in half an hour. just wanted to inform you guys that i won't be blogging till the end of my exams. unless of course im absolutely bored to DEATH and need the comfort of typing some nonsensies in this bloggie of mine. ehehe!

      hehe. im taking a break from studyin business!! i finished reading the textbook ady!! gonna start on maths after im done blogging. my head is too heavy with words..it needs to sink properly before i attack some major maths papers. *grins*

okie, this will be the low-down on me. the EIGHT things you did NOT know about me. =)

* 8. i have a flat thumb. serious!! it looks like it has been slammed by a hammer. but no, it was not. i was born like that! =) not many ppl notice it coz well, it's not like i wave my hands in ppl's faces right??hehe. it's supposed split into two thumbs me thinks but tak jadi because there's a nail growin in between! so if you don't believe me, i'll show it to you! =) *come one,come all...come and see the amazing thumb of ellie's!!* haha...after all, im the one and only eleanor with such a unique thumb!

* 7. i have fangs. i never noticed until barry pointed it out! it's kinda cool..but abit weird. coz really...i have very pointed teeth on both sides! like a vampire! figures why im so attracted to vampire movies and bookies! they are perhaps my own kind! *grins darkly*

* 6. my vital stats is 32-24-34. hahahahha...i had nothing better to do. i have a very unproportionate body. fat and flabby arms lead to small hands with small-bone fingers. adeline used to say my fingers were really slim! *credit goes to piano playing* hehe! not only that, huge bum and humongous thighs lead to small and dainty feet. *sigh* my skechers are a size 3. *proves point*

* 5. i HATE vegetables. i am purely carnivorous and PROUD OF IT!! there are only 3 vege's i can take. salad with LOADS of thousand island dressing or any other dressing for that matter, baby kailan fried with oyster sauce and some fried brinjal thing from esquire's kitchen. i'd rather put myself in gothic attire COMPLETE with spikes,eyeliner,nail polish AND "sesat" thingamajigs than put other greens into my mouth.

* 4. i burp a lot. *blushes* hahah....it's usually on purpose to annoy the hell outta my mom. it's not lady-like and blablabla...but hey, i don't do it in public!! *grins mischievously*

* 3. i talk to myself. really,i do. esp when im stressed. it's SO serious that my mom says i even talk in my sleep. i wonder wat i talk about though...*thoughtfully*

* 2. i don't like throwing things away. i'm a junk rat. i keep EVERYTHING. old boxes, wrapping papers from people's prezzies, old thingies that i won't see until my yearly spring-cleaning! im particularly proud of my collection of old letters, old cards, small notes that ppl don't even remember giving to me. but i do keep them. =) they mean a lot to me.

      
      harlowz...

      Had to go to college today...was supposed to collect some answers from chong heng...*sigh* but he forgot to bring it. i could've killed him. i mean, i woke up early to go collect from him and he didn't bring it!! argh!! anyways, i got the answers myself from mr gobi. so its OKAY, chong heng!! haha!! sorry for running off on you. i didn't trust myself to speak to you..nanti tersilap cakap. *grins*

      this few days...i realised i really no life man. my dearest friend, miss goh made it even more obvious yesterday. hahaa! stay at home, study study study...only one month of this and i can start reading my darling fiction books again! i can go climbing and watch movies...and...and...perhaps, just perhaps...go hang out with someone. =)

      this is how i feel today...

      heya peepz...

      yup...today is the last day of college for me. i've got study leave till the 20th of october. 20th october would be my final AS exams. ARGH!!!*scream..* will be having business studies paper 1 and maths 1. *screams again* MATHS is the first paper. how nice.....*bluntly*

      im under so much stress right now. i just wish i could have my nice comp where i can blog in the privacy of my own room. but noooo.....dad refuses to fix the comp at the moment because exams are coming. he doesn't want me to be online. its good in a way...but now that i'll be on study leave from tmr onwards...i won't be able to check my mail OR blog. baka. who would be so kind as to lend me the use of their comp for an hour or so on alternate days? *blinkblink* haha. *smiles sweetly*

      sigh...life passes you by real fast doesn't it? i still remember the last day of spm, the first day of college and here i am, soon to be sitting for my final exam in a week's time. time is flying wayyyy to fast!!*sobs* but there's nothing i can do about it. i certainly wish i can turn back time. there are some special moments that i'd love to relive again and again. there are some certain things i'd love to do all over again. make it perfect. make that MOMENT perfect. *sighs*

      not only that...my friends from other courses like SAM and CPU, they'll be going their own ways soon. some would get their butts shipped off to aussieland and OTHER countries lol...some would be staying here but still, they would no longer be in the same campus. that's really sad to know. the thought of my friends leaving. i know some of my closest friends are gonna be stuck with me till a-levels are over but still.....*sniffs* i'll miss them terribly.

      tze yi called me yesterday. in case some of you don't remember her, she's that cute squeaky girl that got the asean scholarship. she's doing her a-levels in singapore now. talking to her again makes me remember my lower secondary school days. so many fond memories. i mean, it felt SO good just to hear her voice again. i was actually travelling back into time while talking to her. she reminded me of the days where we'd lepak during duty time...*hehe, good prefects we are*, the times where we'd sing m2m songs in the top of of our lungs with krystle...3 Budi days. haha! it was fun...*smiles blissfully*

      never would i have imagined that i'd be here, in Taylor's College, BLOGGING in comp lab 4, for god's sake.

      i was watching ED the other day. it was about Carol meeting her ex bf from high school named Troy something. apparently, the ex was some successful feller with his own business and a family to boot while Carol is a single and available teacher at the high school. Carol was dreading to meet up with him because of this. She was thinking about how popular she was back then, being a high school cheerleader and straight A's student. And now, she's just a teacher. Anyways, Carol's best friend asked her this question. " Are you happier now or happier when you were in high school?" Carol answered that she was happier now.

      When Carol met Troy, all Troy could talk about was about high school days and all the things he did then. he was reminiscing the old times and he complained about how he missed those days. it was actually a pretty sad moment if u watched the show. But at that point in time, Carol could only think about how sorry she felt for Troy. He was living in the past. he was HAPPIER in the past.

      And then i realised, i don't WANT to be like that. i don't want to be happier in the past than i am now. i don't want to look back at all these happie moments that i have and think about how much i want to live through them time and time again. i want to be happier NOW. the past is just something i'm gonna remember and cherish for the rest of my life. so that's how i've decided to live. i'm not gonna live my life feeling sorry for myself because i USED to be happier.  i'm gonna live my life with no regrets. no looking back.

      no more.