harlowz...

      Had to go to college today...was supposed to collect some answers from chong heng...*sigh* but he forgot to bring it. i could've killed him. i mean, i woke up early to go collect from him and he didn't bring it!! argh!! anyways, i got the answers myself from mr gobi. so its OKAY, chong heng!! haha!! sorry for running off on you. i didn't trust myself to speak to you..nanti tersilap cakap. *grins*

      this few days...i realised i really no life man. my dearest friend, miss goh made it even more obvious yesterday. hahaa! stay at home, study study study...only one month of this and i can start reading my darling fiction books again! i can go climbing and watch movies...and...and...perhaps, just perhaps...go hang out with someone. =)

      this is how i feel today...

      heya peepz...

      yup...today is the last day of college for me. i've got study leave till the 20th of october. 20th october would be my final AS exams. ARGH!!!*scream..* will be having business studies paper 1 and maths 1. *screams again* MATHS is the first paper. how nice.....*bluntly*

      im under so much stress right now. i just wish i could have my nice comp where i can blog in the privacy of my own room. but noooo.....dad refuses to fix the comp at the moment because exams are coming. he doesn't want me to be online. its good in a way...but now that i'll be on study leave from tmr onwards...i won't be able to check my mail OR blog. baka. who would be so kind as to lend me the use of their comp for an hour or so on alternate days? *blinkblink* haha. *smiles sweetly*

      sigh...life passes you by real fast doesn't it? i still remember the last day of spm, the first day of college and here i am, soon to be sitting for my final exam in a week's time. time is flying wayyyy to fast!!*sobs* but there's nothing i can do about it. i certainly wish i can turn back time. there are some special moments that i'd love to relive again and again. there are some certain things i'd love to do all over again. make it perfect. make that MOMENT perfect. *sighs*

      not only that...my friends from other courses like SAM and CPU, they'll be going their own ways soon. some would get their butts shipped off to aussieland and OTHER countries lol...some would be staying here but still, they would no longer be in the same campus. that's really sad to know. the thought of my friends leaving. i know some of my closest friends are gonna be stuck with me till a-levels are over but still.....*sniffs* i'll miss them terribly.

      tze yi called me yesterday. in case some of you don't remember her, she's that cute squeaky girl that got the asean scholarship. she's doing her a-levels in singapore now. talking to her again makes me remember my lower secondary school days. so many fond memories. i mean, it felt SO good just to hear her voice again. i was actually travelling back into time while talking to her. she reminded me of the days where we'd lepak during duty time...*hehe, good prefects we are*, the times where we'd sing m2m songs in the top of of our lungs with krystle...3 Budi days. haha! it was fun...*smiles blissfully*

      never would i have imagined that i'd be here, in Taylor's College, BLOGGING in comp lab 4, for god's sake.

      i was watching ED the other day. it was about Carol meeting her ex bf from high school named Troy something. apparently, the ex was some successful feller with his own business and a family to boot while Carol is a single and available teacher at the high school. Carol was dreading to meet up with him because of this. She was thinking about how popular she was back then, being a high school cheerleader and straight A's student. And now, she's just a teacher. Anyways, Carol's best friend asked her this question. " Are you happier now or happier when you were in high school?" Carol answered that she was happier now.

      When Carol met Troy, all Troy could talk about was about high school days and all the things he did then. he was reminiscing the old times and he complained about how he missed those days. it was actually a pretty sad moment if u watched the show. But at that point in time, Carol could only think about how sorry she felt for Troy. He was living in the past. he was HAPPIER in the past.

      And then i realised, i don't WANT to be like that. i don't want to be happier in the past than i am now. i don't want to look back at all these happie moments that i have and think about how much i want to live through them time and time again. i want to be happier NOW. the past is just something i'm gonna remember and cherish for the rest of my life. so that's how i've decided to live. i'm not gonna live my life feeling sorry for myself because i USED to be happier.  i'm gonna live my life with no regrets. no looking back.

      no more.

      

      

      i was reading manda's and leen's bloggies. thought i'd join them and give my 2 cents as well.
why am i still single?

     it's a VERY interesting question... i've NEVER been NOT single before. so wat does that make me?some ppl think that it's funny that i've never been with someone before. wat they prolly meant was that everybody they knew have coupled at LEAST, once. im sure they meant good, but i always did ponder about this "status" more frequently than i should have. So, WHY am i still single?  

 * i believe that the one that i've been waiting for all my life will find me one day. (wat a fairy-tale but i sincerely do pray, wish and hope so.)  

 * the guys that i liked, the ones i had MAJOR crushes on...for years, actually...did not like me. (their loss, i say...*so the perasan,lol*)
  
 * the guys that liked me, im simply not interested. i need that spark. the spark that will intrigue me. and keep me liking them... =) i dont think one-sided love works. trust me, i know. only been in that ONE side FOREVER. 

 * haha...this is my fault, i admit. i scare them away by telling my crushies that i like them. so byebye to them.

 * perhaps there's something wrong with my personality. some ppl think im a flirt. (i don't think so.) i just mix around a LOT with guys. i feel more comfortable with them, amazingly. thus, i end up being their little sister?*sigh* 

 * i can be REALLY immature. the thought of me having a relationship would be...i dunno,a fluke. i just want someone to love me as much as i love them!! is that too much to ask??

   well, there you go. the reasons as to why im still single. this reasons only apply for the moment. there's prolly a whole lot more. singlehood has never been better, yet it has never been so boring.haha. =)

heyloz... :P

ehehe....went for my SECOND driving lesson on thursday. ohmigod...talk about SUPER-FREAKED out man. second lesson and mr instructor makes me drive on the MAIN ROAD. not only that....DRIVE TO SHAH ALAM. i thought i'd be sitting in the passenger seat while HE drives me there. boy, was i wrong.

not only did i panicked, the whole steering wheel and gear was WET with sweat. disgusting?yes, i know. mr instructor nicely commented that my face had changed color. DUH. wat did he expect?? *sigh* that was one scary drive. thank god i din mati enjin at all on my second lesson. i DID drive abit too slow though...causing some bloody ass-hole of a lorry driver to honk at me. cis. can't he see the BIG "L" sign there???baka.

i survived the roundabouts. another scary place. i survived. haha...learnt how to do the three-pointer, bukit and parking. eheheh...my parking so the cacat. *blush* oh wells... =)

today was my third lesson. im improving...goodie!! i drove all the way to ian zing's house on the way back from my lesson. tee-hee! but i still freak out at the main roads. im just too paranoid of other cars coming up beside me and of course, those HUGE lorries. i already feel smaller in a kancil. lorries are just TOO intimidating. *sniffs* i hate lorries. and speeding motorcyclists. they'll be the death of me if i drive on my own.

la di da. *sighs*

   
      heya peepz. haha...comp is STILL down so currently using library comp. sigh...so the bored. :( and i'e not been online for so long! i miss talking to all my friends online and sending stupid smileys to everyone. bleks. :P

      and i miss talking to that certain someone. shoot. i think this feeling's getting serious. aiks. haha...exams coming...must concentrate!!! :P but, i get that SUPER happie feeling whenever i see him. and whenever i see his sms. gosh. *blush* enuf ady. hehe...

      i've got evan and jaron's "crazy for this girl" song stuck in my head. i dunno why...i like it so much. at the moment only, of course. yesterday i had the nutcracker in my head, thanks to su-hsien! its bee-you-ti-ful!! *sigh* the piece is so passionate, so over-flowing with emotions. nice. *grins*

      i am in the LIBRARY on my one-hour break. how sad is that?? itulah..tak bawa duit lagi-lah. LOL!! left me wallet at home. crap-ness!! AND i was supposed to pay lisuen for the class page thingy. MORE crap-ness. ( sorry, lisuen!!)

      oh yah, today is gonna be my second driving lesson. at 5.30pm!! *grins* my instructor says he's taking me to shah alam. technically, shah alam is unchartered territory because as u all know, im EXTREMELY ulu. only been to midvalley twice. one-utama ONCE! bwahahahahha... :P so, erm the thought of driving to somewhere strange is abit the frightening. nvm, i have faith in myself. haha...i just hope i dont mati enjin anywhere embarassing. i'll just die man.

      okaylar...better get a head-start on my accounts hw. im drowned in work already. accounts, business studies, thinking skills and MATHS> gosh. *mock faint* gone are the good times where u can skip homework and still do well. blah. *sniffs*

      oh yah, i dont believe i've told u guys. eheh i failed my grade 7 practical. it's okay. partly my fault as well. but the bloody examiner was REALLY strict. sheesh, i think every teeny stumble i made, he cut 2 points. bleks. dont care. im gonna do my grade 8 anyway. hehe...   

~ Would you look at her as she looks at me
   She's got me thinking about her constantly
   But she don't know how i feel
   And when she carries on without a doubt
   I wonder if she's figured out
   I'm crazy for this girl

      The girl should be changed to a guy lar. at least, to suit my situation. hehee.