I had the most wonderful day today.

   I stayed home and did house chores like a good little girl. I read "Nights In Rodanthe" by Nicholas Sparks while listening to classical music on my iPod all afternoon. It's amazing how a book can make you cry, laugh and just make you think of life and it's possibilities. I enjoyed my afternoon as a love story unfolded in my brain. And there i was, once again in a state that i've tried so hard not to be in.

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   I feel trapped.

   I've been keeping secrets all my life.

   It's amazing that i've managed to keep them all in. It's amazing that everything i know and have been trusted with connects with everyone else.

   It's hard.

   I know so much. People think i don't. Some has even thought that i'd broken my promise to them.

   In my world, I observe each and every one of them. I analyse them all. They're like my little puppets and i'm telling their story in my head over and over again. I imagine how their secrets and they themselves would turn out in my world. I'm the storyteller. They listen to what i've got to say only when they want to.

   Their lives revolve around themselves.

   I'm just the storyteller.

   I wonder how well they know me.

   Honestly, i don't think they do at all.

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   And that scares me.