I can't sleep. I've got a throbbing headche that usually only happens during exams due to the stress, etc... I never knew applying to universities would be such a bother. It bloody pisses me off that i have to THINK about what i wanna do. My dreams of being a wedding planner will have to take a backseat. I'm a girl whose dreams have just betrayed her.

   I'm actually considering accounting and finance now. Or accounting and marketing. Whatever. How can ANYONE be so sure of what they want to be or study? It definitely doesn't help that the people around me have their lives planned out for the next 5 years. It sucks that i'm still just as clueless as i was on the first day of college. My one and a half years is up. I SHOULD know what to do by now. And maybe i do, i just don't know whether i should.

   If i were to follow what is truly in my heart, i'd like to study something that i'd actually enjoy, Something that does not make me DREAD going to uni. Something that doesn't make me BORED or SICK and TIRED of it. Something that not only can help me earn some sort of income while feeling HAPPY while im doing it. *sigh* Then again, isn't that what everyone wants? In conclusion, help needed.

   I just finished a book. "Where Rainbows End" by Cecelia Ahern. It's definitely different from all the other books that i've read. The story is solely made out of letters, online chats, sms-es and notes. I thought it was pretty cool and of course, there's the all famous plot of falling for your best friend. It's totally cliched. But still entertaining and heart-wrenching. It tells of how fate has a way of getting 2 soulmates together. No matter how long the wait. And how the experiences with other people would make you appreciate that soulmate all the more. All in all, i enjoyed the book. Because of it, i'm forced to reflect that CERTAIN part of my life that remains, well, inactive. LOL.

   From the book. i'm inspired to find my own silent moments with that certain someone. A perfect moment of silence. Honestly, i didn't need a book to tell me that. I wish i could find someone whom i can just spend time with without having to say a word, and yet, feel totally contented with that. That's when words need not be said. Just feeling "right" would do.

   Other than that, i'm a firm believer of hands that "fit". I believe that somewhere in this world there's someone who has a pair of hands that will make me go *zing!* everytime we touch. And they would fit perfectly. I've actually dreamt of such hands. That's how wild my imagination is. All i've gotta do is find the owner of such hands. *laughs to self*

   This is why i hate holidays. They make you think too much about unnecessary stuff. Things that either leave u so "high" that you're on cloud nine, or so left out that all you wanna do is be a walking zombie. Or well, something that's equally grotesque and annoying. In my case, prolly, a lump-of-fat-couch-potato-insomniac-who-grounded-herself-causing-her-to-think-of-such-things. I've got no one to blame but myself.
   
   Life. It's either WITH you or AGAINST you. I speak for all of us. *sigh*