sometimes i feel that i put myself in this position on purpose. im just too FREE as some people might put it. reading books that promote happy-ever-after endings do SOMETHING to you in the short-term...or long-term, if you're unlucky enough. i've become a believer that love happens in the most unlikeli-est places. sometimes it becomes so vivid that hmm...i probably have forgotten what's real and what's not.

being a constant failure in love i guess i am reduced to reading books that have nothing but characters who live in turmoils and ones that are SO busy that they've forgotten how to love..some are looking for love so HARD that they just fail to see the person that's been there all along...but of course, all this fiction people always get what they want in the end. how surreal. gives u that fuzzy feeling u get after watching "never been kissed"'s drew barrymore kissing wats-his-name in the end. it makes u go "awww..how shweet." i've always wondered wat i'd do if i even had the chance to get what or WHO for that matter, i want. would i jump with joy or grapple with the fact that what's happening is true?i don't know. im still waiting for it to happen.

thoughts can make u mad. reminds me of one of the poems we had to study for spm. i think it was "if" by rudyard kipling. one of my favourites. the part where he says.."never make dreams your master" fits the cap. all i ever do now is dream...and with this un-planned abundance of time in my hands, i've been dreaming wayyyy to much. about all the happy-ever-afters you can possibly imagine. and its becoming so serious that im imagining all the happy endings that my friends will have.

im feeling broody. somehow i feel that everyone's been coupling up and im stuck here, pretty much by myself lol..its so the lonely..aih. why is it so hard to find someone who likes me more than i like him?LOL. reminds me of wat a certain guy-pal said to me. guys usually dont go for gurls who like them...the ones that play-hard-to-get has always been more attractive. more tempting. i guess that's where i went wrong eh? i've never in my life played hard to get. and i've always told the guys that i liked that i liked them. not like there was many anyway. oh well...wats done is done. im glad i still have good friends that i can depend on. ones that dont mind me and understand that i CAN feel broody.wakakkaaka...

love isn't everything after all...there's so much to look forward to. =) im still sweet sixteen. at least...for the remaining few months till my bday.(*hint*) :P and as my little fairytale books...its STILL possible that my happy-ever-after ending could happen. or so my totally influenced and confused head says.